Surprises are the best in my opinion. Like, a few minutes ago you didn’t have a cake, or flowers, or a person and SURPRISE…They’re there! THE ABSOLUTE BEST! When you go through a tragedy—doesn’t matter what it is—you’ll be surprised what people say and who shows up. A lot of times they say the wrong thing. Some were of course not so surprising. My brother by far still has the most beautiful message to me via text message. I called him first when I was hyper ventilating in the car after my partner had kinda confessed. It’s all a blur but the text message he sent will bring anyone to tears.

Often times people are afraid or unwilling to be vulnerable because of how their friends, family, or rando strangers will think.  It prevents us from moving forward.  I was absolutely full of fear about what people would say. Would they make assumptions about why my marriage failed? Would they think I should have known better? Did they think I settled? Guess what....IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THEY THINK. It matters what you think, and how you feel. They're going to think whatever they think, and your life will go on either fucking way. Ya know? So just be true to yourself. People can say some stupid shit. I promise you the shit they say will always surprise you. 

So here’s the first thing someone might say.


Then you’ll have your buds. They come along to eat shit food with you, snuggle you while you cry. Come from Madison, Chicago, Iowa... Pack your shit into endless totes, drive it across town, burn shit because that's therapy…Also, don't forget the wine. Lots of wine.

And when you think you’re alone, like there is no one there for you that cares for you…they say shit like this.

And when your heart can’t take more that day

Never stop leaning on your people.


And then when you decide to write a blog about your feelings…They’re going to say something.

Do you get it now? No matter what you lose, someone will be there for you. I promise those messages weren't all from one person. How hilarious would that be? I couldn't have made it this far, let alone out of my bed this morning without knowing that I had an overflowing amount of love available whenever I need it.  If you've sent me something remotely kind chances are I have screenshotted it. Because everyone needs help getting up.  You might even see something YOU said to me up there. It doesn't go unnoticed by ANYONE. Take out your ding dang cell phone right now and tell someone you love that you love them. Say something surprising. 

I was so concerned about what people would think. I apologized around every corner. I didn't need to. I believe it is natural for human beings to reach out and support one another. If this isn't proof, what is? People will shock and surprise you with their love. You have to open yourself up and let them help. They’re the reason I got up again. That I get up again. You have that too. I didn’t know 9 people would drive to my house to pack it up with 24 hour notice. I didn’t know people would come sleep with me so I didn’t have to be alone. I didn’t know they would say the nicest things possible. The shit they say man…you’d be surprised. They’ll help you let that bright ass light shine.